Online Personals | Personal Ads | Online Dating | Online Personal Ads
 

Online Personals - Talking to Your Prospective Soulmate
by Jay Reiss, M.S.W.
The Online Dating Coach and Online Personals Expert

Personal Ads | Online Personals | Online Dating | Online Personal Ads

As an Online Dating Coach, I regularly review Online Personals to see how men and women promote themselves. I often see Personal Ads that are written so poorly it's no wonder many people fail to attract the types of partners they're searching for. Men often write in a matter-of-fact way which is absolutely not the way to communicate with women in the Online Personals. And women often come across as demanding in their online dating ads, which turns a lot of men off - and ends up reinforcing their belief that "all of the good ones are taken." One of the first things people seem to forget when writing their online personal ads is that real live human beings are on the receiving side and reading them! It's helpful to not only present yourself well, but to also provide enough information so the reader knows how (or even if) to reply!

Here's one example. This ad was submitted to Craigslist Online Personals by a woman in her early 40's.

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professional who enjoys open conversation - 41

"I love to talk about books that have struck you bizarre or interesting. I do want someone to hang out with, and must enjoy talking about politics, books, places and wine. Must love chocolate!"
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Communication is apparently high up on this woman's priority list (how nice!). Whether "talking about everything" is also nice would depend, I suppose, on how much "everything" truly includes. It's hard to say what she's referring to when she talks about "bizarre" books - although Stephen King novels come to mind for me. I'm not sure how many guys love chocolate, but for the sake of maintaining positive relationships, I imagine a lot of guys would go along with that one - assuming, of course, that "bizarre" books don't stand in the way first!

With Online Personals like the ad above, I can only imagine the types of men who'd reply!

And take a look at this ad - another selected from a host of online personal ads found on Craigslist. It was written by a 29-year-old guy who describes himself as the "Tattoo Teddy Bear" --

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tattoo teddy bear - 29

"i just want a good girl that knows how to treat a man with respect."
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Short, sweet, and to the point, yes?

So is it any wonder that so many single men and women are just like "two ships passing in the night?"

Which brings me to our lesson for today: Always write your Online Personal Ads like you're having a regular conversation with someone!

In other words, here is a list of what NOT to do in your personal ads:

1. Don't write your Personal Ads so they sound like magazine advertisements!

2. Don't "talk down" to your readers.

3. Do not - under any circumstances - submit a 10 or 15-word ad for Online Dating!

Instead, here are some of the things you absolutely should be doing with your Online Personals:

1. Mention some of your hobbies, interests, and what you enjoy doing on a date. Try to paint an accurate yet imaginative picture of yourself as a real person (and an interesting person at that!).

2. Give your reader a sense of how they will feel when you two are together on a date. Put yourself in the shoes of your reader. Be empathic, sensitive to their needs, and try to anticipate what they might be thinking and feeling while reading your Online Personals on the Internet.

3. Mention some of your best inner qualities in your ads to motivate your readers to respond to you!

4. What's the benefit (i.e., the "payoff") for answering your Online Personals ad right now? Make sure you include that too! And finally...

5. Don't forget to spell-check your personal ads before you submit them!

By following these tips and guidelines, you'll be on your way to a successful Online Dating campaign with Online Personals!

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Website Content © 2010 Jay Reiss, M.S.W.
The Online Dating Coach
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